Neverending thread of unexpected uses of cabbage

[Cabbage]

Cabbage “Therapy” A Head of Its Time

[Kaiser Mo'll I]

A head. Ahead. A head... a... AAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAahem.

Wouldn't you consider it an act of sacrilege to drag cabbage around on a lead, slowly wearing it down against the asphalt? They've done that ritually in Shirekeep since the days of Kaiser Aiomide - along with burning it, impaling it on spikes, and putting it in stocks to be pelted with other vegetables...

[Cabbage]

The Cabbage is a humble god, it does not ask of us that we put it on a pedestal, instead it serves us in numerous and mysterious ways and only asks that we spread its seeds over all of Micras and beyond. The Cabbage is the God of the poor and the tread down, it suffers with its people and provides them with vitamin C and nutritional fibers. What other God can say that its grace has been clinically confirmed? The only thing that I consider sacrilege is an unbalanced meal.

[Cabbage]

Cabbage juice turns you into a genius, or so a reputable English peer reviewed journal says. Personally I think all gifted people should be euthanized instead. To those who think that last remark was off-topic, I would suggest their "young wise heads" should be replaced by the much more humble cabbage head.

More pressing, nutritional fibers are often lost in juices.

[Seoni Milharna]

Ban cabbage.

Both the plant and the person.

[Cabbage]

If you wish to file an application towards that goal, I advise you to directly contact His Imperial Majesty the Heavenly Light, the Emperor of the Holy Empire of Jingdao and comrade of the Administrative Soviet. I fear he would overlook it if that was just placed here.

More pressing, the plant contains a great deal of vitamin C and nutritional fibers, it would be unwise to remove it from your diet.

[Seoni Milharna]

Leave us, traitor. We are in Shireroth, not Jingdao.

And you can't remove something that was never there in the first place.

[Cabbage]

Lady Milharna, you are a guest in the County of Te Gong Li, please behave in a respectable way or I will have you removed on the grounds of Comital Decree 1 if my Dutch does not protest.

[Flavius Myksos]

Lady Milharna, you are a guest in the County of Te Gong Li, please behave in a respectable way or I will have you removed on the grounds of Comital Decree 1 if my Dutch does not protest.

The Dutch always approves the removal of certain blue creatures from our sacred soil.

[Cabbage]

Thank you, Your Majesty, we will not tolerate blue sacrilege on our soil. I will allow Lady Milharna to stay on our island if she is willing to change, I am sure her affliction could be cured by a healthy diet.

[Raz]

Cabbages, in Skyrim!

[Hadrian Myksos]

It's truly a great day for Skyrim!