Fence

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Jacobus Loki
The plaything of capricious Archons...
Posts: 1982
Joined: Thu Feb 03, 2011 7:52 am

Fence

Post by Jacobus Loki »

Burt - There's the fence. The gate is proly the only place wi' out a minefield.

(Bob throws a rock off the side of the road. EXPLOSION, dirt flies everywhere, larger clods set off more explosions, fades in distance).

Bob - Right then.

(Burt shakes head.)

Burt - Know you've done it, they should come swarming, ya' nit!

Bob- Where's the swarming?

Burt- You don't suppose-------- they all done kilt themselves???

Bob- Nau, 'ere comes a lorry.

Malliki
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Re: Fence

Post by Malliki »

I suppose this is funny for the simple-minded.
Malliki Tosha
Acting Xonuti of the Free State of Sanilla
Poluti Poki'i of Sanilla

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Jacobus Loki
The plaything of capricious Archons...
Posts: 1982
Joined: Thu Feb 03, 2011 7:52 am

Re: Fence

Post by Jacobus Loki »

Bob - 'e chewed through another gag.

Burt - Not to mind, 'e can yell at these 'ens here now.

(Unintelligible foreign language in several voices.)

Bob- Do they want 'im?

Burt - I dunno, I though your cousin was 'ereabouts.

Bob - Their 'e is, in the back! Bab, over 'ere, it's yer cousin Bob!

Bab - Salaam, cousin.

Bob - An' 'owdy-do to you to!

Bab- You know this is not a safe place for anyone right now.

Burt - We figgered tha' wi' all the hexplosions a' the like. We got orders from our Prince to get this particular wanker out of the country, an' Bob thought you might help.

Bob - Yeah, 'e 'as big shot kin in Vanilla where Father Micras lives way up north.

Bab - Didn't Nana ever tell you about Mi.............

Bob- (interrupting)Tell me what?

Bab -Never mind. We can take him until his family pays a ransom, er, contribution.

Burt - Right with us, eh Bob?

Bob - Right!

Bab- Say hello to cousin Bart for me when you get home

Bob- Right.

(Fade to black)

Malliki
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Re: Fence

Post by Malliki »

Malliki Tosha was sitting on a chair, bound and formerly gagged. His inept guards hadn't tied him very well, and when they had frisked him, they had mistaken his 9mm semi-automatic pistol for somthing other that is long and hard. He could feel his ropes coming loose. When Bob and Burt had their backs to him, probably discussing the finer points of incest, he arose, aimed his gun at Bob's head and fired. As the wall in front of them sprayed with blood and little chunks of brain, he did the same to Burt. He stepped over the corpses and headed for the gas stove. He pulled loose the feeder line so gas started filling the cabin. He stepped outside, took out a flare from the truck parked outside, popped it and threw it inside the cabin. As he drove away in the hotwired truck the cabin exploded into a raging sea of fire.

5 km away, he rendezvoused with a Stillwater extraction team that transported him to safety on international waters and from there to Sanilla.

tl;dr

Malliki kills Bob and Burt, escapes, probably justified since the detention was illegal anyway.
Malliki Tosha
Acting Xonuti of the Free State of Sanilla
Poluti Poki'i of Sanilla

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ari
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Re: Fence

Post by ari »

:yay:

But really, Malliki. There's no need to show off.
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Amane
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Re: Fence

Post by Amane »

:|
Amane
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Verion
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Re: Fence

Post by Verion »

Malliki wrote:I suppose this is funny for the simple-minded.
-1
Malliki kills Bob and Burt, escapes, probably justified since the detention was illegal anyway.
+2
1.Titus Morvayne, Prefect of Shirekeep, Count of the Skyla Islands
2.Eki Aholibamah Verion, Queen in the North
3. Ludovic Verion, Lord of Blackstone and Governor-General of the Iron Company
4. Jeremy Harwinsson Archer, super sleuth

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Jacobus Loki
The plaything of capricious Archons...
Posts: 1982
Joined: Thu Feb 03, 2011 7:52 am

Burt and Bob have risen from the dead!

Post by Jacobus Loki »

Bob - Are we dead, then?

Burt- We got bloody 'oles in our 'eads......

Bob- Yeah?

Burt- An' there are bits of brain an' bone an' the like all around......

Bob- Yeah? But we're movin' and talkin' an' all.

Burt- Maybe we're ghosts?

Bob- Or maybe zombies? (Tastes a piece of brain.) PtAH, awful stuff!

Burt- Try a cooked piece.

(Bob tries a cooked piece) ACcchhh (vomits)

Burt- So not zombies.

(to be continued)

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Jacobus Loki
The plaything of capricious Archons...
Posts: 1982
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Re: Fence

Post by Jacobus Loki »

Bob - Vampires, maybe?

Burt - It's bloody noon, if we was vampires, we'd go up in smoke , or somethin' like.

Bob - Werewolves?

Burt - No more likely werewolves at noon as vampires, eh?

Bob- Back to ghosts.

Royston Merrick

Re: Fence

Post by Royston Merrick »

Could you possibly find a less witless way to bolster your post count?

Malliki
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Re: Fence

Post by Malliki »

I guess he's compensating for having absolutely no policy goals.
Malliki Tosha
Acting Xonuti of the Free State of Sanilla
Poluti Poki'i of Sanilla

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Jacobus Loki
The plaything of capricious Archons...
Posts: 1982
Joined: Thu Feb 03, 2011 7:52 am

Re: Fence

Post by Jacobus Loki »

Could you possibly find a less witless way to bolster your post count?

Yes, I could! :Court:

I could respond in detail to every inanity generated by foreigners with poor manners. :madviking: (...and you're getting popcorn in the couch cushions.)
Jacobus Loki

Once and Future King of the Ma'alanje
Prophet of Loki, Wielder of the Sword of Madness

Shireroth sumus. Tempus in parte nostrum est.

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Jacobus Loki
The plaything of capricious Archons...
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Re: Fence

Post by Jacobus Loki »

Burt - I wonder 'oo those blokes are?

Bob - I dunno. Do you suppose they's ghosts too?

Burt - Only if ghosts drink beer and eat popcorn.

Bob - Hmmm. Burt, since we are maybe dead, do you suppose that means we don't work for the Prince anymore?

Burt - Probably not. What are ye thinkin'?

Bob - I saw some nice country back aways. What say we stay and haunt it up?

Burt - What if we're not dead?

Bob - Farmin'?

Burt - Alright. But let's send a letter so's its all nice an' proper.

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