Nathan II had postponed his scheduled stop on his tour, to stop in Shirekeep instead as soon as he found out about the murder of the Steward. He would attend the memorial service for the recently-slain Steward Hartmut Aldric. Nathan's own father, Kyle, served as Steward for the current Kaiser, and it was his duty to show support and grief for Natopia's oldest ally in this troublesome time. Although not officially planned for his Grand Tour, Shirekeep held a special place in Nathan's heart and he was delighted to be there, despite the somber reason for getting there. Nathan's grandfather Naian attended the inauguration of the Bovic Cathedral in this city, and his great-grandfather Nathan I visited Shirekeep often. It was no doubt that Natopia and Shireroth had a special friendship, one that perhaps ebbed and waned over the decades and centuries, but was always a foundation of solid understanding.
As was customary, he did meet with Ayreon IV at the memorial services. It was bittersweet. He was reminded of so many happy memories, but both men had gone on with their lives. He wondered if Vidar had any feelings for him still. The Natopian Emperor gave the Kaiser a very brief embrace, and whispered, "I'm so sorry, I've missed you dearly," into his ear, briefly held his hand, and then walked away to take his seat for the service. For any onlookers, it appeared to simply be two old friends meeting again.
[Grand Tour] Special Stop, Shirekeep
Moderators: (Shireroth) Prefect of Shirekeep, (Shireroth) Steward, (Shireroth) Kaiser
[Grand Tour] Special Stop, Shirekeep
Emperor of the Natopians
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- AHS (Ayreonist Horror Story)
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Re: [Grand Tour] Special Stop, Shirekeep
During the memorial service at the Keep – it was a memorial service, not a funeral, and with only a select few invited (associated with the Court, the Imperial Household, diplomatic corps, and foreign heads of state and government – Ayreon's emotions were all over the place. Not only had a good friend of his, the Duke of Calezi, been murdered in what seemed to be very strange circumstances, but Nathan appeared. Nathan. Nathan. Nathan. It had been six years since they last saw each other – and they had their romance, and Nathan then just ghosted him after that. Fucker.
And now Nathan was back, and it fucked Ayreon up. He felt rage. But as the service went on, Ayreon felt other things too. He felt an urge to forgive Nathan, and while he didn't want that feeling, it was as if his entire mind wanted him to do it.
He vowed to resist that emotion.
But after the service, there was a banquet for the guests, hosted by the Kaiser. As the highest-ranked guest, Nathan, being a foreign emperor, sat next to the Kaiser.
And Ayreon couldn't stop looking at Nathan. They were men now, and Nathan just looked so beautiful. Ayreon wanted him.
He whispered to him, "Why the fuck did you ghost me like that? For six years? I want to forgive you, but I also want to understand. How can you just come back like this like nothing changed. I hate you."
But before Nathan had a chance to reply, Ayreon said "But I also love you. I hate that I love you. I hate that I want to forgive you. Why do you have to mess me up like this? Why? What's wrong with you?"
Again, before Nathan could answer, there was apparently the time for yet another eulogy, this time by the Prætor of the Landsraad.
Everyone listened to the monotonic robotic voice of the Prætor going on and on...
And now Nathan was back, and it fucked Ayreon up. He felt rage. But as the service went on, Ayreon felt other things too. He felt an urge to forgive Nathan, and while he didn't want that feeling, it was as if his entire mind wanted him to do it.
He vowed to resist that emotion.
But after the service, there was a banquet for the guests, hosted by the Kaiser. As the highest-ranked guest, Nathan, being a foreign emperor, sat next to the Kaiser.
And Ayreon couldn't stop looking at Nathan. They were men now, and Nathan just looked so beautiful. Ayreon wanted him.
He whispered to him, "Why the fuck did you ghost me like that? For six years? I want to forgive you, but I also want to understand. How can you just come back like this like nothing changed. I hate you."
But before Nathan had a chance to reply, Ayreon said "But I also love you. I hate that I love you. I hate that I want to forgive you. Why do you have to mess me up like this? Why? What's wrong with you?"
Again, before Nathan could answer, there was apparently the time for yet another eulogy, this time by the Prætor of the Landsraad.
Everyone listened to the monotonic robotic voice of the Prætor going on and on...
Former Kaiser of Shireroth (now dead)
RIC
Re: [Grand Tour] Special Stop, Shirekeep
After Tinker Sprocket finished his very long, very precise, very complete, recounting of the entire life history of the Duke of Calezi, the banquet shifted into a more casual, yet still somber, event. Nathan turned to Ayreon and spoke quietly.
"I am not expecting forgiveness, I am not expecting things to be as they were. That's not possible. I've made a mess of this and I know it. For some of the time I was gone, I was literally up to my neck in shit. That's not a euphemism, my sister had been using many herdsworth of Tas Neemian cattle dung to fertilize the Hazel Woods. Before that, I vanished because I couldn't go on. I felt like an echo of a person. I felt like a fraud, like I could disappear and no one would notice. You, of all people, know our common plight: thrust into power way before we were ready. I did not feel like I earned or deserved any respect. You held me up, and were the single bright spot in that time, but there were things in my head that could not be pushed away. I didn't deserve your attention or respect. So I decided to leave, with the intention of leaving forever. Did you know I had filled out an application with a fake name to join the Spacefleet? I wanted out and far away forever, and to start over without any expectations or burdens of history."
Ayreon raised an accusatory finger to speak, but now it was Nathan's turn to cut him off.
"Not excuses, just explanations. The few times I did make public appearances over these last 6 years it was begrudgingly, and each time I was too ashamed to contact you. But I was changed by my time away. While buried up to my neck in the Hazel Woods, I did hear the spirits of my ancestors, and others called out to me from beyond the veil and they helped me realize certain things. Only I could affect the change I wanted to see. They said I didn't need to start over, because I was the master of my own destiny and my destiny stretched far into the future, and my destiny was entwined with other powerful people's destinies too, and that together we could shape this very world into our benevolent image of perfection. It was an empowering and intoxicating thought. I was given a renewed sense of purpose, and so I undertook several quick and decisive campaigns to reclaim my empire from those who sought to defile it, those who did not share my benevolent image of perfection. And now I feel like I have at least earned the right to rule my empire, for it is now shaping up to actually be mine, not Zakyyr's, not my mother's, not petty kings. Mine.
"And so now I am someone who actually does deserve another's attention. So I do not want you to forgive me, because I did a terrible and unforgivable thing to you. I don't deserve to be forgiven and I will carry this shame for my lifetime, but I will use it to drive me forward and always do right by you henceforth, whether or not we become friends again. I see the pain I caused and am causing you. And because I have loved you all these years I am in pain, I searched my soul for whether or not to come here today. I won't say it was divine providence, I won't say it was coincidence, I won't say it was convenient. Those would cheapen the fact that I came here. It was difficult to come here and see you. But I searched my soul you know what I saw there?"
Ayreon, almost imperceptibly, shook his head.
"I saw you."
"I am not expecting forgiveness, I am not expecting things to be as they were. That's not possible. I've made a mess of this and I know it. For some of the time I was gone, I was literally up to my neck in shit. That's not a euphemism, my sister had been using many herdsworth of Tas Neemian cattle dung to fertilize the Hazel Woods. Before that, I vanished because I couldn't go on. I felt like an echo of a person. I felt like a fraud, like I could disappear and no one would notice. You, of all people, know our common plight: thrust into power way before we were ready. I did not feel like I earned or deserved any respect. You held me up, and were the single bright spot in that time, but there were things in my head that could not be pushed away. I didn't deserve your attention or respect. So I decided to leave, with the intention of leaving forever. Did you know I had filled out an application with a fake name to join the Spacefleet? I wanted out and far away forever, and to start over without any expectations or burdens of history."
Ayreon raised an accusatory finger to speak, but now it was Nathan's turn to cut him off.
"Not excuses, just explanations. The few times I did make public appearances over these last 6 years it was begrudgingly, and each time I was too ashamed to contact you. But I was changed by my time away. While buried up to my neck in the Hazel Woods, I did hear the spirits of my ancestors, and others called out to me from beyond the veil and they helped me realize certain things. Only I could affect the change I wanted to see. They said I didn't need to start over, because I was the master of my own destiny and my destiny stretched far into the future, and my destiny was entwined with other powerful people's destinies too, and that together we could shape this very world into our benevolent image of perfection. It was an empowering and intoxicating thought. I was given a renewed sense of purpose, and so I undertook several quick and decisive campaigns to reclaim my empire from those who sought to defile it, those who did not share my benevolent image of perfection. And now I feel like I have at least earned the right to rule my empire, for it is now shaping up to actually be mine, not Zakyyr's, not my mother's, not petty kings. Mine.
"And so now I am someone who actually does deserve another's attention. So I do not want you to forgive me, because I did a terrible and unforgivable thing to you. I don't deserve to be forgiven and I will carry this shame for my lifetime, but I will use it to drive me forward and always do right by you henceforth, whether or not we become friends again. I see the pain I caused and am causing you. And because I have loved you all these years I am in pain, I searched my soul for whether or not to come here today. I won't say it was divine providence, I won't say it was coincidence, I won't say it was convenient. Those would cheapen the fact that I came here. It was difficult to come here and see you. But I searched my soul you know what I saw there?"
Ayreon, almost imperceptibly, shook his head.
"I saw you."
Emperor of the Natopians
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- AHS (Ayreonist Horror Story)
- Posts: 902
- Joined: Sat Jul 08, 2017 9:46 pm
Re: [Grand Tour] Special Stop, Shirekeep
As the banquet lingered on, and Nathan and Ayreon had had their hearty conversation, their discussions turned to more light-hearted matters. They spoke of their shared memories, some internal jokes that they would share when they were younger. They even cracked some jokes – trying of course to tone down any laughter – there was after all a sombre feel all over the memorial banquet.
Afterwards, around 10 in the evening, Ayreon escorted Nathan around the Keep's gardens. There was a breeze in the air, and a sense of quiet. Obviously, the buzzing city of Shirekeep, stretching across the river, made constant noise. Perhaps the sense of quiet was rather a sense of calm, a cathartic serenity achieved after letting go of all the emotions built up over the years.
Ayreon felt as he was fifteen again. During the walk, they didn't talk much. Just a few comments here and there when Ayreon showed Nathan around. Ayreon thought himself to be quite the tourist guide. Perhaps if he had been born into other circumstances, he would have been a tourist guide, a librarian, a museum intendent or something... That would have been nice.
Then out of the blue, Ayreon said, "Let's have breakfast tomorrow in my private quarters. You'll get to meet my kids too! Come, I'll show you the way there now so you won't get lost tomorrow."
Though in his heart, he really wanted Nathan to simply stay the night in his quarters, like in the old days...
Afterwards, around 10 in the evening, Ayreon escorted Nathan around the Keep's gardens. There was a breeze in the air, and a sense of quiet. Obviously, the buzzing city of Shirekeep, stretching across the river, made constant noise. Perhaps the sense of quiet was rather a sense of calm, a cathartic serenity achieved after letting go of all the emotions built up over the years.
Ayreon felt as he was fifteen again. During the walk, they didn't talk much. Just a few comments here and there when Ayreon showed Nathan around. Ayreon thought himself to be quite the tourist guide. Perhaps if he had been born into other circumstances, he would have been a tourist guide, a librarian, a museum intendent or something... That would have been nice.
Then out of the blue, Ayreon said, "Let's have breakfast tomorrow in my private quarters. You'll get to meet my kids too! Come, I'll show you the way there now so you won't get lost tomorrow."
Though in his heart, he really wanted Nathan to simply stay the night in his quarters, like in the old days...
Former Kaiser of Shireroth (now dead)
RIC
Re: [Grand Tour] Special Stop, Shirekeep
The Kaiser and Emperor breakfasted that day and many days since. Whenever schedules allowed, each man made time to see the other, sometimes just for an evening, or a quick lunch during a summit. Nathan felt so young again, like the guilt and shame of Nathan being gone these past years melted away between them and they picked off exactly where they left off.
Emperor of the Natopians