Visiting the Kaiser's Farm

[Armin Jamal-Arminzadeh]

After having tea with the Steward, Armin set off to Monty Crisco to tell the Kaiser in person that his great grandfather, Arviður Andelárjunarbróðir úr Vintra-Ansinum, aged 117, had died. Armin knew that the Kaiser had met Lord Arviður many times during his infancy, before Liv's return to Shirekeep. And now the Steward herself had given Armin the task of telling the Kaiser of these news. He couldn't quite fathom as to why he had to do it in person – surely they could have sent a message down to the Chamberlain to inform the kaiser. Did the Steward have anything to hide? Is there some ulterior motive here?

Arriving at the farm, Armin looked around. It was fairly big – and a well-guarded piece of land in the middle of nowhere. Some 600 acres guarded by a number of sentinels – who despite all security had managed to keep the farm and its inhabitants anonymous among the folk of the area. The sentinels were all wearing farmers' gear, and all protective fences were of the same type as other farms would have. It was such a good disguise that Armin – even arriving at the exact coordinates – was unsure whether he had come to the right address.

He buzzed for a call.

"This is Count Armin Jamal-Arminzadeh, commanded by Her Serenity the Steward to bring a message of great important to Our Lord the Radiant Sun", he made his objective clear.

A few minutes later, a truck came to the gate, and Armin was told to "hop on".

It was hot here. Mosquitoes and other awful insects flew around. The stench of cow dung and hay made Armin's seasonal allergies worse. He sneezed. His eyes itched.

By the manor, he was welcomed by the Chamberlain.

The obligatory proscribed greeting of bows were made, and the Chamberlain and Count Armin went to the tea room to discuss the matter in private.

"Chamberlain – I have to tell the Kaiser some grave news, which may very well upsety him greatly, and I need to see him at once."

"But what is the matter, my lord?"

"I cannot tell. I am commanded by the Steward to bring the news to the Kaiser in person."

After a while, the Chamberlain reluctantly allowed Armin to see the Kaiser – but only afte Vidar's chores on the farm had been done for the day.


At supper that night – which Vidar and an Octavius cook had made together from the farm's own produce – Armin broke the news.

"Your Radiance..."

"Does he mean me?" whispered the Kaiser to the Chamberlain next to him, who nodded.

"I am so sorry to tell you that your great grandfather Arviður has died."

The Kaiser was silent for a while.

"Lord Armin – who killed him?"

It struck Armin now that the Kaiser hadn't achieved a full concept of natural death. Arviður was 117 years, died of old age, but every other person that the Kaiser knew of who had died had died by someone killing them. His grandmother Noor, his father Adam, his stepuncle Audun Joel – just to name a few. Even the animals of the farm were slaughetered, not let to live a natural life.

"He died because he was old. When people live long enough, their bodies will not let them live much more. He became very old, 117 years. That's 110 years more than you are now."

"So... even if no one kills me, I will die one day?"

Armin did not like how the conversation went – and tried to steer it away from any existential questions.

"Your grandfather, My Lord Kaiser, was a very good man. Do you remember him?"

"Yes. He gave me hugs and chocolate."

"Yes, a very kind man."

"Yes."

"He was your mother's father's father."

"I know. Can I go play now, Soraya?"