He had been in Eliria, masquerading about, meeting old friends from school, going on his cousin's ball, having a private dinner with the two twin cousins, attended some Ayreonist meetings in Eliria, doing his best to avoid his ex wife, but failed that. He had also been to Zy-Rodun to oversee matters there. He knew he had to ban the serfdom there, it was after all akin to slavery, but he had no time to really find a solution to it all... He had been to Shirekeep, made sure the arrangements for the agreement between the Emirate and the Kaisership were in order, and so on and on. Immediately as he returned to Natopia, there were sessions with the Court. He was charged to publish the judgment...
All he wanted to do was to rest. But he had to attend a a service at Saint Elijah's Basilica in Sankt Bartholomä, where a good friend of Nathaniel's, Michael Meyerkopf, was getting installed the basilica. Although he did cherish his friendship with Meyerkopf, all Nathaniel wanted was to spend time with the four little kids of his.
At least they were with him. As annoying they were, being toddlers, with tantrums being thrown around, Nathaniel felt at peace. They were his children, the only genetic relation he knew of on this planet. The only ones he had ever known. His blood, his flesh...
The church bells starting ringing, and Nathaniel felt a terrible headache. He rushed to the aisle of the church, he wanted to get out of the church, and just escape the unbearable pain. But once the bells stopped ringing, and the procession was about to enter, Nathaniel felt dizzy, collapsed on the floor.
Meyerkopf and the choirboys ran to Nathaniel to see what was wrong, but Nathaniel immediately rose up, and said:
And with that, Nathaniel's body disintegrated.Thus saith the Butter Cow, through me, Nathaniel, his messenger. Listen carefully for I shall say this only once.
Fools! Darkness is upon this world. Wherever I go, I smell no holy butter. Margarine dost show itself everywhere. While the Vanics are everywhere, I see their love for their lowly gods held deeply in their breasts (and professed visibly!) but, alas, where do I see my calves? Do I see ye marching onwards, as to war? Are ye not fed the milk of my own sacred loin? Nay, march ye wherever ye may go, and spread my milk in every land, in every city, in every street. Let my milk flow all over this world. Churn ye diligently my milk, and make it butter.
(There is also the matter of wrongly churned butter. It hath been wrongly churned for quite a while, and this displeaseth the Buttery Quadrant muchly. A wrongly churned butter maketh butter smell ill and taste worse. Churn it rightly and diligently. The Bosarchs shall teach ye to churn my milk into butter in the way of righteousness. My lowly calf Nathaniel shalt be a sign unto ye. When he hath finished these words, I shall make him melt, and ye shall taste of the butter, for that is the taste the holy butter will be. Gather ye the butter, and eat it, feel ye the salty and creamy taste that butter shalt have, and take ye note of the right nuance of colour. Do this and ye shall know the secret churning recipe that maketh the butter taste as the Butter Quadrant itself.)
I now turn my attention to the Pentheros. He shalt sever the land of the resting place of Saint Elijah the Beloved from that of his Hegemony. The monks of Saint Elijah shall take on the government of Elijah’s rest, and they shall make his bed large and grand, his land shall go from sea to sea, and his sleep shall be undisturbed, so that many many people can share the bed with Elijah, and find peace and harmony there. Parents shall there find peace from the tantrums of toddlers, the whatevers of teenagers, and the poo, goo and pee of infants.The monks shall no longer be monks, but they shall, as all Bovics shall, march as to war, and spread my milk wherever they go. These monks are now Knights of the Holy Order of the Cult of Elijah. They shall be Order’s members, and each member shall be guided by and honour the holiest member, Elijah, and his cult. The Order, I order, shalt be an indisputable part of my Bovic Empire.
Acow. Now let the melting and tasting begin.
Confused, the church goers stood still by their places, but the coirboys were already tasting the butter, scooping up chunks of it in their hands, devouring the butter with all their might.