for Mevwani humansIf you're Mevwani (the human kind)...
- You think the laws on the books are okay. If you didn't, you'd have to go all the way to where the government handles things and complain, and you've got stuff to do.
- You're familiar with Kayo T. Kem, Delin M. R. Meik, Seldrash I. W. C. O. Risht, Dwarizase, and Pal V. E. B. N. Soor.
- You know the rules to prel-stik, okta, nishash, eng-mi, and daroatan. You can argue intricate points about the regional rule differences for at least one of these sports, more if it's a hobby of yours or you subscribe to The Mevwani Athlete.
- You're not sure why anyone would take a job that didn't offer six weeks of vacation a year.Share the Light and pass the soup
- You're most likely Haphengko, although you might not be very observant of Law yourself, and if you're not Haphengko, you're a Follower or Elehaithi. You might be more than one of those, in a sort of wishy-washy jumbled sense. You think the Thtoi are a cult.
- You think of going over to your neighbor's house for dinner uninvited as cheap, convenient food. You'll help wash dishes.
- You might have either a telephone or a radio, but probably not both.
- Your place is heated in the fall, winter, and spring, and also in the summer if you live in Ice Tip. Your place has its own bathroom, which contains a bathtub but no shower, a sink, and a toilet. You have hot and cold running water, but the "hot" part sometimes works barely well enough to keep your pipes from freezing come wintertime.
- You pay someone to do your laundry; it has to be done by hand and there's economy of scale at work.
- You might kill your own food, if you want to eat meat regularly on the cheap and you're from Mainland. You don't have a dirt floor unless you're from the sticks of Phariscal.
- As a general rule, animals might be food; the only way to tell is to try them and see if they are good. Unless you're a really strict
Haphengko.My other power plant is a fifteen-year-old boy
- It seems natural to you that the telephone systems, railroads, power companies, and plumbing systems are privately run. The government probably wouldn't do a very good job, although it might be able to make the fare system for crossing province lines by rail less of a headache.
- You expect that if you have a phone, it will work, but who would you call with it? Getting a new phone is expensive.
- The train system is amazing. It is the best train system in the world. You love it and you take it everywhere that's not close enough to walk (or fly, if you're a perturber and you can do that).
- You find a consensus-driven adhocracy natural. It doesn't block necessary actions with excess bureaucracy and really it's better at the ideals of democracy than democracy is. You expect whoever is in charge lately to listen to you and people like you if you bother to speak up, because if you bother to speak up, you might bother to make a fuss about things not going your way. But you often don't bother.
- Besides Cosashi, Mainlander, and Islander, there are no other races - well, there's the Zaee, but do they even count? Someone who's half-Cosashi will look Cosashi to you, unless you're Cosashi yourself. Half-Mainlander half-Islander people look Mainlander even if you're Mainlander.
- You think most problems could be solved if everyone gave more time and money to those nice charities that get so much done.
- You take your municipal arbitration system for granted. You know that if you went into business and had problems with a customer, partner, or supplier, you could take them to arbitration unless they fled the province, so you'd prefer to deal with people who aren't likely to flee the province. People with roots put down are trustworthy.
- You'd respect someone who spoke Cosashi (unless they're Cosashi, in which case you take it for granted) or a foreign language, but you probably don't care enough to learn one yourself unless that's a hobby of yours. There's no reason to learn Iozwe; the Zaee all speak Ekoin. You'd hire an interpreter if you wanted to travel abroad, but who wants to travel abroad? You can always vacation on Island if you're from Mainland or Mainland if you're from Island, isn't that enough?
- You think an income tax rate of 10% is scandalously high. You have no idea what the sales tax rate is unless you own a business, because it's written into the prices in stores, but you sometimes suspect that it might be scandalously high.
- School for children is free in Reone and Bright Shore, and free with a scholarship in Kensedo. If you don't live in one of those places you just learn to read from your family members and then subscribe to educational magazines. Trade schools aren't free but you can get loans for that. University? Do you look
like a pretentious snoot?Let me set you up with my cousin Nira
- You expect marriages to be made for compatibility, with suggestions but not outright arrangement by friends and family. Anybody can legally perform a marriage ceremony as long as you gather the witnesses and have a certificate for them to sign, but you'll probably go to your local revelator for the purpose even if you're not Haphengko, because they have such nice churches and they'll do it for free and they keep good records if you have to prove it later. You can have one spouse unless you're in Phariscal or Lesser Cosash, where you are allowed two or three; everybody will recognize your extra spice if you travel between provinces, but they will consider you a hick.
- If a man has sex with another man, he's probably bisexual or homosexual. He can get married to the other man, but not in a Haphengko church and not in Greater or Lesser Cosash. Same with two women, except Greater Cosash will let them marry.
- Once you're introduced to someone, you can call them by their first name. You will probably call people by first name even if you haven't been introduced, unless you're referring to them in press, where the standard is: first name, middle initials, last name, then last name unless there are others of the same surname in your article. If you meet a Zaee, you will be too nervous about offending them to call them by name at all until you are very, very sure you have it right.
- You don't go to the beach topless. In fact, you probably don't go to the beach except to go fishing, in which case you wrap up in lots of wool. It's cold there! But you might just wander around half-naked in the summer to celebrate it being warm enough, unless you're a strict Haphengko.
- A hotel room shares a bath with one adjoining room, and the hotel will assign you times of day when you should expect to have it to yourself. The room has its own toilet.
- You seriously expect to be able to transact business, or deal with the government, without paying bribes. You also expect to benefit from nepotism, but would be indignant if you suffered from it.
- If a politician has been cheating on their spouse, well, you wouldn't really
question their ability to govern, but you might quietly voice uncertainty, and a lot of people voicing uncertainty breaks consensus, so they're gone anyway.
- Just about any store in your province will take a check issued by the locally dominant bank. Outside your province, you need cash.
- A company can fire just about anyone it wants, as long as they want to live with that person's entire extended family being pissed off at them.I used to subscribe to a newsletter about this...
- You count on decent medical treatment for anything common, but you may be screwed if you get something rare. You know you're not going to die of cholera or other Third World diseases. You expect very strong measures to be taken to save very ill babies or people in their eighties, as long as there's not an epidemic going around and not enough doctors. You think dying at 70 would be a tragedy.
- You know your history from magazines, and learned whichever countries you felt like learning.
- You're not entirely sure Mevwan has
a military, but if it does, it certainly shouldn't be involved in politics. If you're between 25 and 55 and reasonably healthy, though, you're in your provincial militia in case of emergency. And you
can be in politics all you like.
- Your country has never been conquered by a foreign nation.
- You expect to have two or three choices for most things you buy.
- You might be a farmer, especially if you're from Phariscal, Sedsesh, Vith, or Greater Cosash.
- Comics are little captioned woodcut prints in some magazines. Newspapers don't carry them.
- If you listen to the radio, you never know who the heck they're going to interview next.
- If you have a reindeer to ride around, you might ride on the right or left side of the road, but pedestrians always have right of way wherever they care to walk. If you hit one, it's your fault unless they were antagonizing your deer and a third party witnessed them doing it.
- The police are armed, but not with firearms. The ones who aren't carrying any weapons at all are the most dangerous.
- If a woman is plumper than average, it might improve her looks or not, depending on her other features.
- The biggest meal of the day is in the early afternoon.
- There's neighborhoods you'd rather avoid at any time of day.Welcome to beautiful Delo-Kyan
- You feel that you must be being listened to enough in Delo-Kyan, because if you weren't, you'd have to go complain, and that would be annoying.
- You care whether someone is from your
family or not, but don't care what other
family a non-relative is from.
- The normal thing, when a couple dies, is for their children, siblings, and favorite nieces and nephews to get shares of various sizes.
- You don't go to many professional theater productions, but you are an avid follower of your local amateur players.
- You don't think having a state church would be a good idea, even if you're Haphengko or think they are very nice people.
- You could not name the capitals of the other countries on your continent, let alone others, unless you have a geography hobby.
- Train schedules by train companies other than the one dominating your town are impossibly difficult to read, but a local will probably help you.
- You think charity for people who are having trouble is just lovely, and it would be terrible if anyone abused those charitable contributions by taking them when they weren't needed.
- If you want to be a doctor, you need to convince somebody to let you doctor them. The best way to do this is to subscribe to Medical Practice and Theory for three to six years and do what it says, and then get a certificate for taking a test and a practical exam at the nearest teaching hospital.Clocks and bridges
- If you have an appointment, you'll apologize if you're ten minutes late. You don't expect the other person to be there anymore after an hour, but you'll explain next time you see them.
- If you're talking to someone, you'll get uncomfortable if they approach closer than about a foot and a half. And if you're from Mainland, you don't want one of those spooky Zaee to get any closer than three feet.
- You bargain for everything if you're buying from someone you know. If you don't know the seller, you take the printed price. So, you try to buy from people you know all the time.
- You can show up uninvited to any house in your neighborhood, but you have to leave if nobody you know is home. You'll make plans if you want to visit someone farther away.
- When you negotiate, you are nice to your friends and relatives and cordial to strangers, where "cordial" means "sneakily, but without overt hostility, scheming to trick the other into giving you a favorable deal".
- If you have a business appointment or an interview with someone, you'll probably have them to yourself, and the business shouldn't take more than an hour and a half. You wouldn't be all that surprised if they had to babysit someone and brought them along, or had an assistant in the room, and you wouldn't write home about it if the business ran to three hours. You certainly would not take offense.