Malarbor says:
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 Post subject: Malabor Says
PostPosted: Mon Feb 06, 2017 7:22 pm 
Horseman of Cynicism
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Joined: Sun May 10, 2015 8:28 pm
Posts: 1246
Kaiseress Noor has taken control of Shirekeep after a short siege, enlivened by a daring assault on Cabbagefall and numerous unexplained animal attacks in the outer-suburbs and the Elwynnese siege lines. Both usurpers, including the one who presumptuously dared to contemplate watching Malarbor burn, have fled via portals to parts unknown - although it has to be said one experienced better luck in doing so than the other.

The only high profile conspirator to fail to make good his escape from the city in time was everybody's favourite pint-sized kinslayer, the Lord Adam, who was found skulking in the catacombs of Cabbagefall (who knew we even had those?) where he had whiled away his days in a fog of sadomasochistic depravity so extreme that Malarbor could not help but spill his sap at the thought of it. Sentenced to death by his mother, he has instead now been released into the custody of his god-bothering brother for some extreme monastic penance in a god forsaken Natopian shite-hole. His wife, meanwhile, somehow survived both being in his company and meeting the Mother-in-Law long enough to give birth to a son, who now inherits what remains of Adam's once excessive litany of lands and titles. Malarbor looks forward to seeing Adam and his family on the Jeremy Kyle show in a few years time.

The city is a mess, those portions of it that have not been cratered by the Natopians, burnt by rioting Babkhans, or flooded when the sewers backed up, have now seemingly been infested with some new invasive predator. Officials are strenuously denying rumours that a demon from Balgurd has escaped into this dimension has begun its spawning cycle. Malarbor knows better. Enjoy the dwindling time that remains to you, puny mortals.

In other news Voltrue has declared itself to be in rebellion. Members of the IAC are divided between those who want to embark upon saturation bombing and those who wish to negotiate a settlement. All members of the council are however presently united in trying to find it on the map. Somewhere out west, Malarbor thinks.

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Daniyal Sikander Dravot: Administrator of the estate of the late Thorgils Tarjeisson. | Generalmajor in the Union Defence Force


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